Learning Forgiveness

page 2The Path To Forgiveness

By Tad J. Blackburn, Ph.D.

The Way to Gethsemane
1. In prayer, empty your heart out to God of your feelings toward the person who hurt you (Heb. 4:15-16; Eph. 6:18). Share these hurt feelings ONLY with God, not the person who hurt you (Eph. 4:29-31).
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” -Heb. 4:15-16
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests…” -Eph. 6:18
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.” -Eph. 4:29-31

2. Confess to God and repent of any wrong attitudes, actions, or words which have become a pattern of life for you as a result of the hurt (1 John 1:9).
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9

The Way to the Cross
3. By a choice of your will, choose to forgive the person for each specific action, attitude, or word that hurt you, and pronounce it forgiven whether you feel it or not (Col 3:13).
NOTE: There must be specific forgiveness pronounced for each specific event that hurt you.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” -Col. 3:13

4. Declare that you release that person from the judgment you placed on him (Matt. 18:18; John 20:23; Luke 6:37-38).
“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” -Matt. 18:18
“If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them they are not forgiven.” -John 20:23
“Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” -Luke 6:37-38

5. Ask God to also forgive the person for each specific event and to release him from his sin (Matt. 6:14-15; Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60)
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Matt. 6:14-15
“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for the do not know what they are doing’….” – Luke 23:34
“Then he [Stephen] fell on his knees and cried out, Lord, do not hold their sin against them.’ When he said this, he fell asleep [died].” -Acts 7:60

6. Ask God to also forgive you for your having held onto this hurt and unforgiveness, and to release you from any:
- bitterness
- hatred
- malice
- anger
- resentment
- unforgiveness
- anger toward God that He “let it happen” to you. (Matt. 18:34-35).
“In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart.” -Matt. 18:34-35

The Way of Resurrection
7. Ask God to bless the person in specific areas of his life and to enable you and give you opportunity to show that person kindness and compassion (Luke 6:27-28; Eph. 4:32).
“But I tell you who hear me: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” -Luke 6:27-28

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Eph. 4:32

8. Invite the Spirit of the Lord to come in and release your bonds, forgive you, comfort you, and bring healing to you (Matt. 11:25).

NOTE: The hurt won’t instantly disappear, nor will the memory of the truth of what happened be changed. But the hurt will diminish and eventually disappear, and the memory will fade as your healing progresses – as long as we daily walk in the Spirit, continuing on the path to forgiveness (Gal. 5:22-25; Luke 9:23).

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins.” -Mark 11:25
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
“”Then He said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’”

The Path To ForgivenessThe Path To Forgiveness