By Tad J. Blackburn, Ph.D.

The Way to Gethsemane
1. In prayer, empty your heart out to God of your feelings toward the person who hurt you (Heb. 4:15-16; Eph. 6:18). Share these hurt feelings ONLY with God, not the person who hurt you (Eph. 4:29-31).
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” -Heb. 4:15-16
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests…” -Eph. 6:18
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.” -Eph. 4:29-31

2. Confess to God and repent of any wrong attitudes, actions, or words which have become a pattern of life for you as a result of the hurt (1 John 1:9).
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9

The Way to the Cross
3. By a choice of your will, choose to forgive the person for each specific action, attitude, or word that hurt you, and pronounce it forgiven whether you feel it or not (Col 3:13).
NOTE: There must be specific forgiveness pronounced for each specific event that hurt you.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” -Col. 3:13

4. Declare that you release that person from the judgment you placed on him (Matt. 18:18; John 20:23; Luke 6:37-38).
“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” -Matt. 18:18
“If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them they are not forgiven.” -John 20:23
“Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” -Luke 6:37-38

5. Ask God to also forgive the person for each specific event and to release him from his sin (Matt. 6:14-15; Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60)
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Matt. 6:14-15
“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for the do not know what they are doing’….” – Luke 23:34
“Then he [Stephen] fell on his knees and cried out, Lord, do not hold their sin against them.’ When he said this, he fell asleep [died].” -Acts 7:60

6. Ask God to also forgive you for your having held onto this hurt and unforgiveness, and to release you from any:
- bitterness
- hatred
- malice
- anger
- resentment
- unforgiveness
- anger toward God that He “let it happen” to you. (Matt. 18:34-35).
“In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart.” -Matt. 18:34-35

The Way of Resurrection
7. Ask God to bless the person in specific areas of his life and to enable you and give you opportunity to show that person kindness and compassion (Luke 6:27-28; Eph. 4:32).
“But I tell you who hear me: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” -Luke 6:27-28

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Eph. 4:32

8. Invite the Spirit of the Lord to come in and release your bonds, forgive you, comfort you, and bring healing to you (Matt. 11:25).

NOTE: The hurt won’t instantly disappear, nor will the memory of the truth of what happened be changed. But the hurt will diminish and eventually disappear, and the memory will fade as your healing progresses – as long as we daily walk in the Spirit, continuing on the path to forgiveness (Gal. 5:22-25; Luke 9:23).

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins.” -Mark 11:25
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
“”Then He said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’”

The Path To ForgivenessThe Path To Forgiveness

I read this quote recently about celebration. Celebration is an interesting concept. I think that it can take many forms – a party, a gathering, a letter, an event, a public speech, etc. To me, the interesting notion is what is at the core of our celebration. What is coming with our celebration?

I believe true celebration is, at its core, an exposition of thankfulness (i.e. an act of thanksgiving). Whether explicitly stated through speech, or implicitly stated through celebratory actions or environment, I believe that true celebration is intimately linked to thanksgiving.

One of the things that thanksgiving produces is an expectation for more good things. And, as I have learned, how I think and speak can determine the environment that I live in. So, I have found that the best place for me to start if I find myself down, under the weather, or feeling powerless is to take a 180 degree turn out of the dark ally of self-pity and instead put on attitude of gratitude – get my thanks on!

I believe that organizations, families, and individuals can accidentally sabotage their work with attitudes of negativity, which create a culture of “what’s wrong” and “how it’s never going to be right.” The key first step out of that culture is to say “thanks” – a lot. On the heals of thanksgiving and shouts of celebration, power will start to flow back into our limbs and minds as we appreciate what is – and begin to dream of what could be.

- Peter

Today I posted a status on Facebook lamenting how annoying it is that my spiritual life is a near-constant battle with cynicism.

If you read this blog, you know that I tend to be a cynic. I’m jaded. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. And on top of all of this I wallow in the fact that I wish I could get out of my personal hell of cynicism.

My brand of cynicism is strange though. It’s not skepticism. When I’m being cynical, its rarely rooted in belief. In fact, I like to think I’m pretty strong when it comes to having faith. It’s very hard, because I believe so much truth and I have no problem conveying said truth to others. I just lack immensely in true connection with God, especially worship and prayer. That’s one reason it’s been such a struggle for me. Today I was confronted with the true reason.

When I posted that status, it was more than anything a concession. It was me “giving up.” It was me deciding “if this is how it’s going to be, than I’m going to make the best of it.” I started to think about it, and it wasn’t sounding so bad. I had this idea—and I do think there is still something raw and beautiful about this that validates it to a point—that I can really reach other cynics, by not saying “I’ve been there” but saying “I’m in it.” I was conceding to the fact that this is just how things are and that I can invite God into it. It was at that very concession that God started working.

At dinner this evening, my wife and I were talking this subject came up. She proceeded to start talking to me in this beautifully graceful, yet forward way. She spoke some very deep truth that made me realize where the source of my cynicism is—selfishness. I realized that my lack of connection with God was rooted in wanting to keep a little bit of my heart and my mind to myself. In turn, I’m not disbelieving in true worship experiences, I just am not letting myself experience them.

In Matthew 5, Jesus starts the Beatitudes with “blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” I grew up hearing this to be “blessed are the poor.” It sounds nice, Jesus starting his blessings with the poor first. I know that’s still part of it, but I heard a great teaching on this a few months ago that opened it up so much more. “Blessed are the poor in spirit” can be read closer to “blessed are those who are about to give up.”

Blessed are those who’ve had enough.

Blessed are those who have conceded to the fact that life is “just the way it is,” and in turn invited God into their misery.

Blessed are those who stopped challenging God—consciously or not.

I’ve been dealing with cynicism for at least 6 or 7 years now. And the moment I threw in the towel and just said “it’s yours now, God”—the moment I stopped trying to maintain control of every aspect of my heart and mind—was the very moment that God said “you finally gave me some room.”

Those who are truly, literally poor already get this. I think that’s why Jesus started with it.  The rest of us need to hear it and it’s importance.

This is the essence of Matthew 5:3. The very moment we relinquish our “wealth” of mind and spirit and become poor—the moment we give ourselves to being truly desperate—this is the very moment God says “YES! You get it now.”

— Collin Simula

Obedience.

I can’t say I’m a fan of the word. In our culture, this word carries significant weight. Especially in Christian circles. When I think of obedience, the first thing I think of is religious obligation. “Well, God said it, that means I have to do it, and its probably going to suck.” Can I get a witness?

Anyway, the more I was thinking about it, God started to open my heart up a little bit. He started to break down the needlessly stupid definition I had given that word. The more I dug into it, I realized there’s something about obedience. Something that’s so…beautiful.

Think about it: God is good. God desires only good things for His people. So if God commands something of me, if God asks me to do something, it’s only for the greater good right? Either for me, or for others. No matter what, it’s going to be glorifying to Him. It may not be pretty. Or convenient. Or logical for that matter. But one thing’s for certain—God is sovereign, and if it’s from Him, then it’s GOOD.

So I’m starting to look at obedience a little differently. It’s not some religious concept of being some robot of some impersonal deity. It’s God inviting us to turn around and take a step in the direction of goodness, and us accepting the invitation. It’s a choice on our part to move in the direction of His perfect will.

In John 14, Jesus even talks about how obedience out of love for Him yields not only more love, but more revelation from the Holy Spirit. So in the way I see it, true obedience should bring nothing but love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

And I’m definitely cool with that.

I try to hide behind my self-proclaimed introvert tag. I try to hide behind the fact that I am not an evangelist (at least not in the sense that being an evangelist is my primary calling.) I try to hide behind the idea that God will send me a sign that He wants me to love the World (in specific ways) while trying to contextualize away His commands to do so with my “works.”

I feel like I have opportunities all the time. Whenever I am invited to do something, like go to a nursing home with my small group, I have a choice. Just like when I see someone, by God’s grace, that I know needs Jesus, I have a choice. I have a choice to act, a choice to love. Or, I have a choice to hide.

I have been reflecting on the following story a lot lately:
Acts 9:10-22 “Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” And he said, “Here I am, Lord.” 11 And the Lord said to him, “Rise and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying, 12 and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight.” 13 But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem. 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on your name.” 15 But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. 16 For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” 17 So Ananias departed and entered the house. And laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized; 19 and taking food, he was strengthened.
Saul Proclaims Jesus in Synagogues
For some days he was with the disciples at Damascus. 20 And immediately he proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.” 21 And all who heard him were amazed and said, “Is not this the man who made havoc in Jerusalem of those who called upon this name? And has he not come here for this purpose, to bring them bound before the chief priests?” 22 But Saul increased all the more in strength, and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus by proving that Jesus was the Christ.”

Did Ananias have a choice? I read this at first and think “If God ever tells me in a vision to go pray for a blind man to receive his sight I will know for sure what to do.” But, that actually happened to me once. Five summers ago, I was praying and reading in a park and had a great desire to see the Kingdom manifest around me in physical healing. I read scripture that convicted me that if I wanted to see that happen I needed to act in faith. Hastily, I prayed to God and told Him that I would pray for the next person I encountered that had an obvious need for physical healing. Within minutes as I walked a man approached me with sunglasses and a white cane. I lost my nerve and thought surely You are joking. Ananias had a choice.

I am convinced He wasn’t joking. It is a good reminder for me not to judge Ananias.

I have also been convinced that visions are not a prerequisite for action. A good test for me is if I get an idea to do something I really don’t want to do but it is clear that it would result in love that I should do it. Period.

I have also been reading The Apostle by John Pollock (an excellent book about the life of Paul) and Mr. Pollock points out something else about this Ananias:
“And he, Ananias the obscure, never heard of before or since, had been chosen to baptize Saul-it was the first example of a historical pattern that great ambassadors for Christ, however much prepared in other ways, are brought to their vocation by unimportant agents: Augustine hears a child’s voice repeat, ‘Take up and read!’ John Wesley listens to an anonymous Moravian reading Luther; D.L. Moody, wrapping up shoes in a store, pauses for a few words from his Sunday School teacher; Charles Haddon Spurgeon, sheltering from a snowstorm, hears a workingman in a snow-bound minister’s pulpit.”

Who have I not extended Love to? I want to Love the World.

I am currently fasting and once again being reminded of why it is so beautiful, why God gave us the gift.  Gift?  Yes this thing of fasting is the can-opener to the soul.  I am finding myself being replenished, refreshed, awakened and not because I am getting a bunch of God-time in either.  There is literally something in fasting alone, in faith of course, faith that God is going to meet me, where just the act of fasting has a profound effect on the human heart in setting things in line that have been out of line, cleansing things that have long needed cleanses and awakening God-given desires that are life giving.  I can’t encourage you enough begin to mix fasting into your monthly and quarterly life rhythm, you absolutely will not be disappointed.

Fasting – “the can opener of the soul to God and to the desires and gifts he has placed within us.”

The gap between what I say I believe and what I actually experience in the “real world.” The gap between the God I experience on a Sunday morning and the God that I experience at my work place.

The gap, what is it? It is the space between who God really is and what our experience of that reality is. Some of us experience the gap in our prayer life, some in our relationships with others, some in sharing our faith with pre-Christians, some it is with our fear.

The point is this we have all these gaps, we don’t actually know it or see it and so we don’t seek to close them.

May we get really uncomfortable with the gaps. May we not be comfortable with saying Jesus is the only sources of life but not actually ever sharing that reality with those around us who don’t know that.

May we not be comfortable with worshiping “The Prince of Peace” on Sunday and worrying ourselves silly the rest of the week.

It’s time to feel the gap, to get really uncomfortable with the gap, get desperate enough that we willing are to do the “work” (anything of value requires it) to make what we say is real and how we live to line up.

It will be a process, so get comfortable with the journey, but whatever you do, don’t get comfortable with the gaps.

Funny how something so simple can be so significant.

What would it be like to live in a way that we are literally doing what the Father is doing, saying what the Father is saying, going where the Father is going? Not just every once in a while but on a consistent basis. Does it sound good? It depends, right? What does it mean to do what the Father’s doing?

You can’t package or label what this looks like, it is vast, great and limitless. What is the Father doing?

Praying for for a stranger because you sense the wind of heaven on it, catching a movie with a friend, or shutting the t.v. off and going on a walk, or leaving an extra tip for the barista, or staying late at small group, calling a family member out of the blue, having a neighbor over for dinner, reading a book that jumps out at you. Are you getting the idea, it is vast, it is broad, there is no limiting what the Father is doing, but there are certainly those times when we choose to be aware and we actually step into what the Father is doing, seemingly “normal” things take on a whole other level of grace.

I want my year this year to be full, and I mean full of what the Father is doing. I have seen what days, weeks, and months look like when they are full of what “I am doing” disconnected from what He is doing.

Father, teach us to see, teach us to hear and teach us to have the courage to do what you are doing because that is where life is, that is where you are and given those two elements nothing else really matters.

Good day -